tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26037956821563223762024-03-19T16:16:56.894-07:00PARENTINGJohn Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-8985956779127683412009-06-10T08:51:00.000-07:002009-06-10T08:55:40.723-07:00How To Stop Breastfeeding - A Mother’s Dilemma<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUwuv2r-UaRt7Jqqz84KPDdUWSlra8TJOVPzalPkUdw7h3q7QRqSKfYkL4sowfcnLqsaOaEIJj5DudWf-7oYhDSpXLzsSswJIgh5h8JyIBsBOvAjWs7v5dfZ9_5hZ_VenD8ow6do4KE2o/s1600-h/breastfeeding.htm"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 228px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUwuv2r-UaRt7Jqqz84KPDdUWSlra8TJOVPzalPkUdw7h3q7QRqSKfYkL4sowfcnLqsaOaEIJj5DudWf-7oYhDSpXLzsSswJIgh5h8JyIBsBOvAjWs7v5dfZ9_5hZ_VenD8ow6do4KE2o/s320/breastfeeding.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345728067784975634" border="0" /></a><br />As a mother, it is natural to want to breastfeed your baby until there is no longer a need to do so. Of course, all mothers know that this is the best way to start off the baby’s healthy lifestyle, to help build immunity and facilitate the healthy growth of the baby. But breastfeeding has to give way for normal feeding and diet at some point of time. Unfortunately, not all babies seem to feel that way. This can make stopping breastfeeding frustrating for both the mother and baby.<br /><br />The most important thing to know is that you should not stop abruptly. The baby will get upset if you suddenly withdraw and that is not good for either the baby or the mother. One way to wean the baby off of the breast is to cut back on the amount of times that you breastfeed in a day. For the rest of the feedings, use a bottle or cup with breast milk. This way the baby will not feel as though they are missing out on anything and it makes the transition easier for both mother and baby.<br /><br />One of the times that baby looks forward to feeding the most is during the night if they wake up and when it is time for bed. The time for bed should be the last feeding to be stopped. If the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, the father may try to tend to baby until they go back to sleep. This will probably be a long tedious process but patience is a virtue. If Dad is not around, and maybe Grandma or Grandpa can help and they could tend to the baby as well.<br /><br />Sometimes by the time we decide it is time to stop breastfeeding, the child is old enough to understand what we are telling them. This can be a critical time for the child since this is as much a physical comfort factor as emotional for them. The mother simply has to explain that the only time for breastfeeding is at night when it is time to go to bed and later none at all. As you wean away, it is important to give more physical attention so that the child does not feel as though they are lacking in your attention.<br /><br /><span class="fullpost">This is also a time that the mother will need to take care of her breasts. It can be painful when she stops breastfeeding because of the feeling of being to full. Weaning off gradually will help handle the feeling of being full and feeling pain as well. The supply and demand rule applies here as well. The less milk you use, the less the body will produce. Some people recommend using cabbage leaves on the breasts to relieve the pain from swelling breasts. Simply place them over the breast and leave on for 20 minutes or so. This can be done up to 2 times a day. Eventually both the mother and baby will get through the weaning period and everything will go back to normal.<br /><br /><br />Written by Asma Ashfaq</span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-46254595514706212232009-06-10T08:41:00.000-07:002009-06-10T08:46:17.059-07:00How to Find Child Care<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCm8BfaMc_XAkUZ8KZztNZ-hCjVb5I347GyI08ERW2QifldQOJeZZ_xmLQCHV1r_4cr0TkiZRnoNrHWYpG0Yf3brEOBub_KKhtOtfChCEgx9o2vxdp941ibI3UUrq_tGHi-CwT3pImJWs/s1600-h/child+care.htm"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCm8BfaMc_XAkUZ8KZztNZ-hCjVb5I347GyI08ERW2QifldQOJeZZ_xmLQCHV1r_4cr0TkiZRnoNrHWYpG0Yf3brEOBub_KKhtOtfChCEgx9o2vxdp941ibI3UUrq_tGHi-CwT3pImJWs/s320/child+care.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345725596678645826" border="0" /></a><br />One of the most difficult tasks as a parent is finding good child care. It takes time and a little patience, but some ideas on approaching this task can help make it an easier transition for you.<br /><br />The most popular method of finding child care is word of mouth. Ask your friends, siblings or other moms in a playgroup if they know of any good child care services. Don’t be afraid to approach someone who is obviously a babysitter or nanny at the park. She’ll likely have some ideas of where to look.<br /><br />Also, ask your child’s teacher or other teachers at the school. Maybe another parent at the next PTO meeting knows of one or two places to check out. Chances are very good that these adults are parents themselves, some with children already a part of a child care program.<br /><br />Another way to find child care is to check with the company you work for. Most businesses provide free childcare, so it wouldn’t hurt to ask if there might be one available. If the business you work for is small, find out if they sponsor a childcare provider or if anyone at your work can recommend one. Here again, word of mouth can be immensely helpful.<br /><br />A third way to find child care is to check with your church, synagogue or temple. See if any of the members or clergy are aware of anyone willing to provide child care, or if there is a child care service provided by your place of worship.<br /><br />The next time you get a local newspaper, browse the ads to see if anyone is advertising their babysitting or child care services. Be sure to go through their references like a hawk and ask them about their experiences. It’s a good idea to find someone who has certification in First Aid and CPR. See if you can observe the environment and have your child or children meet with them before making a decision.<br /><br /><span class="fullpost">Besides the newspaper, the phone book is another good source to help you find child care. Check out several of the businesses you find in there and see if you can arrange for a tour of the location. Check your state’s web site to find their star rating and if any complaints have been filed against them.<br /><br />Your county’s social services office would be able to assist you in finding adequate child care, as well. They can provide you with a list of licensed daycare providers.<br /><br />Finally, try advertising your need for child care at a public bulletin board or on the ‘Net. There could be a high school or local college student hoping to make some extra money who will see your ad and give you a call.<br /><br />Whatever method you use to find child care, don’t rush into making your choice. Using the above ideas to help you find child care will help make this job easier and things less stressful for both you and your child.<br /><br /><br />Written by Dawn Colclasure</span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-24749518510209630132009-06-10T08:30:00.000-07:002009-06-10T08:36:23.375-07:00How to Tell if Your Child is Colorblind<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHSEjgaADFy3cBGWi3M_KkLydamUaE8rxM-THeWrbGD6U4JaeHXIQYn4j_gcbJAF9fhkUyw4hVkwiuInc5GcXEJoYf1P59hY2ZK8ZGXQpuPrhT-OljFgkONqoTBm9TecXAHFONE0Leowc/s1600-h/url+2.htm"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 209px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHSEjgaADFy3cBGWi3M_KkLydamUaE8rxM-THeWrbGD6U4JaeHXIQYn4j_gcbJAF9fhkUyw4hVkwiuInc5GcXEJoYf1P59hY2ZK8ZGXQpuPrhT-OljFgkONqoTBm9TecXAHFONE0Leowc/s320/url+2.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345722973807333250" border="0" /></a><br />Colorblindness is a fairly common problem that can begin in early childhood. You may be wondering how to tell if your child is colorblind. What are the symptoms of the condition? Since the symptoms may be so unclear that even adults have a hard time knowing whether or not they are colorblind, it seems a lot more challenging to diagnose children with colorblindness. However, there are a number of different signs which may indicate that your child is colorblind. Here are a few to look out for:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Risk Factors</span><br /><br />Some children tend to be at greater risk of developing colorblindness than others due to hereditary genes. It is much more common for boys to be diagnosed as colorblind. In fact, research shows that one out of every ten boys will be affected by colorblindness. Although girls can also be colorblind, the genetic trait is more commonly passed to boys.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Difficulty with Colors</span><br /><br />The main way to tell if your child is colorblind is to notice how easy it is for him to identify colors. Many parents are able to tell as early as kindergarten whether or not their child is colorblind. When it comes time to learn colors, your child is likely to struggle much more than other children. If your child seems to be a bit hesitant, this may be a sign that he is unable to differentiate between certain shades. Colorblind people generally have a hard time telling red from green. This relates to colors that are similar as well. For example, a colorblind child may not be able to tell purple from red, or blue from green.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Artwork and Clothing</span><br /><br />One of the easiest ways to tell if your child is colorblind is to pay close attention to their artwork and clothing. Children who are colorblind may have a hard time picking out an outfit that matches. It is also likely that certain objects in their artwork, such as suns or ladybugs, may be given colors that are the complete opposite of what they should be. <span class="fullpost">Paying attention to minor details involving color is one of the best ways to tell if your child is colorblind.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Visit the Eye Doctor</span><br /><br />Many parents are under the assumption that all eye exams performed by schools and eye doctors consist of a colorblindness test. Color blindness tests are not standard procedures, however. While there are color blindness tests available online, it is important to keep in mind that they are not nearly as effective as a professional examination. If you suspect that your child is colorblind, the only way to find out for sure is to request a test for colorblindness from the doctor.<br /><br />If your child has been diagnosed as colorblind, it’s best to avoid panicking. At the moment, there is not a known cure for colorblindness. For many people, the levels of colorblindness are also so insignificant that it does not have a major impact on their lives. Diagnosing the problem early will help prevent any confusion for your child in the future, however.<br /><br /><br />Written by Jody Morse</span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-45518750258907142822009-06-10T08:23:00.000-07:002009-06-10T08:29:27.658-07:00Natural Sleep Aids for Children<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Die_NmriLLz1fT56CBT_AOOiO4pJL0QijH_yPhl3hkd_6drwYkKhyphenhyphenSCpwfE3Wybwd2aRmeh2tJKWqR83C9-OsDIPWp8kD6f0GmuR-DxmHac9SkubfYMlVSpFJtNbcQozZh-bNleGpdE/s1600-h/url.htm"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 224px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Die_NmriLLz1fT56CBT_AOOiO4pJL0QijH_yPhl3hkd_6drwYkKhyphenhyphenSCpwfE3Wybwd2aRmeh2tJKWqR83C9-OsDIPWp8kD6f0GmuR-DxmHac9SkubfYMlVSpFJtNbcQozZh-bNleGpdE/s320/url.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345720614450470610" border="0" /></a><br />Many parents struggle to get their children to sleep at night. Tons of sleep medications and drugs promise to be the best solution to this problem, but natural remedies can help children who are coping with insomnia.<br /><br />First, get to the root of the problem. Why is your child having trouble sleeping? Ongoing nightmares, fear of the dark, loneliness, peer pressure and school stress can really disrupt your child’s sleep. Try addressing these concerns with your child first.<br /><br />Next, change the bedtime routine. Turn off the TV and computer a few hours before bedtime. Dim the lights, create a relaxing environment and unwind. Wear comfortable pajamas. Read a book or tell a bedtime story. Cuddle together. Keep the environment as calm and stress-free as possible.<br /><br />Take note of your child’s dietary habits. No matter what anybody tells you, caffeine in the afternoon will definitely keep your child awake at night. Don’t allow your child to drink sodas, coffee and tea 6 hours before bedtime. Ban sugary foods at night. If your child eats a big meal too close to bedtime, she might have a hard time falling asleep. Make sure dinner is at least 2 hours before bedtime so that your child’s body can digest the food properly while awake and rest later.<br /><br />Finally, try playing soothing music. Some children just won’t go to sleep without being lulled by a favorite lullaby or soft, relaxing music played on low. If the child is young, try rocking him and softly singing.<br /><br /><span class="fullpost">If the above strategies don’t work after a few days, then try natural sleep aids. Before you implement any herbal remedies into your child’s diet, however, make sure you discuss your plans with the child’s doctor and consult with a certified herbalist to ensure you are administering the herb correctly for your child’s age and weight. This advice is strongly recommended no matter which herbal tea or capsule you provide to your child.<br /><br />One way of using natural sleep remedies for children is by using aromatherapy. Scented pillows, incense, candles and scented soaps do wonders for helping children to feel more calm and liable to sleep. The scents that work best in soothing anxiety and inducing sleepiness are lavender, sage and chamomile.<br /><br />Another way to use natural sleep remedies for children is with an herbal tea. The herbal teas of choice are chamomile, passion flower, and valerian. Melatonin has been promoted as a sleep remedy, yet some caution is advised. Melatonin pills have negative side effects, such as nausea, vomiting and irritability. Melatonin in milk is safer to use, so a glass of warm or cold milk can do the trick. Lactose-free, soy, almond and goat milk will also provide the same melatonin benefits. You can also flavor your milk with cinnamon and/or honey.<br /><br />Use these natural and practical sleep aids if your child is unable to sleep at night. Go with the method that works best for the child and soon your child will be nodding off to dreamland.<br /><br />Written by Dawn Colclasure</span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-14607764244219893072009-06-06T18:59:00.000-07:002009-06-09T02:41:18.218-07:00On the road to literacy: learning to write<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw7GITC0JrnwYrLt5l7bHZWPocWmeB4icTTkAHPHb7Ng-3z-30TUlPMvDOvp0ReitXj_fJ7k02SRhE40QT7U9qzk-NObnrc5lCIqHCFzCCJxRWlst3vGtQ20kDkxOmPhiCR-38Z0jveEY/s1600-h/Learning_to_Write.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw7GITC0JrnwYrLt5l7bHZWPocWmeB4icTTkAHPHb7Ng-3z-30TUlPMvDOvp0ReitXj_fJ7k02SRhE40QT7U9qzk-NObnrc5lCIqHCFzCCJxRWlst3vGtQ20kDkxOmPhiCR-38Z0jveEY/s200/Learning_to_Write.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344400187084258162" border="0" /></a><br />Parents wait for that wonderful day when their child learns to read. But reading words is only part of early literacy - writing is important to literacy, too. And, no matter what your child’s age, he is learning to write.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">My baby can’t even hold a pencil</span><br />Long before a child can pick up a pencil, the stage is set for the development of writing. When your baby uses her index finger and thumb to grasp objects it is called the pincer grasp. This skill forms the basis for holding a pencil in a mature writing position.<br /><br />Being able to control a pencil depends on stability of the shoulder and arm, and strength and dexterity of the hand and fingers. Babyhood is one of the few times in life when a child bears her weight on her arms and shoulders to strengthen them. A baby bears weight on her hands when she is on her tummy and pushes up to raise her head or chest off the surface. Crawling is a major source of weight bearing for babies in the last half of their first year. Be sure to give your baby lots of tummy time to build strong back, shoulders and arms for crawling and writing.<br /><br />Vision also plays an important role in writing. Children have to use their hands and eyes together to coordinate the movement of the pencil. When babies gaze and focus on their parents’ faces or accurately reach for and grasp objects, they are practicing eye-hand coordination.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Toddlers are scribblers</span><br />Toddlers are driven by their curiosity to explore with their hands and eyes. Let your toddler play with materials of different textures and consistencies, such as shaving cream or play dough, to provide stimulation for fine motor development. Unscrewing lids or turning doorknobs helps your toddler’s wrist become strong yet flexible. Supply lots of paper and a variety of writing tools to encourage your child to scribble often. Drawing with a child helps him associate writing with comfort and enjoyment as he moves into writing in the preschool years.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Preschoolers are writers</span><br />Your child will probably show an interest in writing by using it in her pretend play, such as scribbling a “shopping list” while playing store. When they do this, <span class="fullpost">preschoolers demonstrate an understanding that spoken language can be written down and that it must be read in the same way every time. They know that the symbols of writing have meaning and they begin to reproduce those that have the most meaning to them! Your child will probably begin by writing the letters of her name or M-O-M and D-A-D.<br /><br />As children begin to write, they creatively use space on the page, sometimes moving their writing from right to left or slanting it up the page. After much experimentation and experience, children gain the awareness and control to place letters on a line and write from left to right. Your child will begin to have more control over writing tools when she starts to use a mature grip, called a tripod grip, to hold them. This is a good sign she’s ready to learn to write and read in school.<br /><br />Encourage your preschooler’s writing by giving her old calendars, notebooks, or address books to write in. She will enjoy imitating you. Point out letters you see while running errands, especially letters that are in her name. Sit with her and let her enjoy the process of learning to write without pressure to make the letters right. That will come with time.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Steps in learning to write:</span><br /><br /><ul><li>Experiments with writing tools by scribbling</li><li>Scribbles left to right</li><li>Understands the difference between drawing and writing</li><li>Makes letter-like forms and perhaps some letters</li><li>Writes letters all over the page</li><li>Strings letters together to represent writing</li><li>Groups letters separated by spaces to imitate words</li><li>Copies a letter by looking at a model</li><li>Writes a first word, usually his name</li></ul></span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-17477366396826719952009-06-06T18:50:00.000-07:002009-06-06T18:54:30.822-07:00Helping your child deal with death and loss<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcoNzLFj_88dHDWdgD7xAEilr3H-Y-AZm9b9pLV6wpNGTKUeVy9Ev85NIvWQCFLLUF4hOFOkXyFyvgo9k9-fb_2JfFEwPn1uz1CokYiHWagzgkIFqxrTTlD6ZYjBZgisB8m04I-mxY-Zs/s1600-h/13154911.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcoNzLFj_88dHDWdgD7xAEilr3H-Y-AZm9b9pLV6wpNGTKUeVy9Ev85NIvWQCFLLUF4hOFOkXyFyvgo9k9-fb_2JfFEwPn1uz1CokYiHWagzgkIFqxrTTlD6ZYjBZgisB8m04I-mxY-Zs/s200/13154911.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344397903397382146" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br />When your family experiences a serious loss, you naturally wonder how to help your young child through such a difficult time. For children, loss can take many forms, from death of a close family member, to the death of a pet, to an out-of-town move by a favorite friend or relative or even your own family. Whatever the source of loss, your child needs your help to understand the feelings of confusion and grief she may experience.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">When someone your child loves dies</span><br />Death is a permanent separation from a loved one, and young children have little experience with anything that is permanent. Even infants reflect their parents’ emotional state, so it is probable that your baby will feel the difference in your household. She may be fussier than usual, or want to be held by you most of the time. Try to satisfy your baby’s need for comfort as much as possible. Keep routines and surroundings consistent, so there will be familiar cues to reassure your child. Even if you think she doesn’t understand, talk to her about what is going on.<br /><br />An older toddler or preschooler will experience the death of a loved one more directly. She may ask a lot of questions. Always be honest with your child and be careful to answer what she has asked without overwhelming her with information. You may think you are protecting your child by not telling her about the illness or death of a loved one. Your child will notice that adults are acting differently, and will feel less secure if events are hidden. Talk to your child in simple terms that she can understand, but keep her posted on what is happening. Be aware that her sense of loss may be delayed, as she may not be able to anticipate the future without the person who has died.<br /><br /><span class="fullpost">Children grieve differently than adults. They may be sad, then begin playing normally, followed by another period of sadness or quiet reflection. Allow your child to talk about her feelings when she brings them up. Share your own feelings, but avoid assuming your child is feeling the same way you do. Don’t try to get your child to reveal private thoughts, but be a good listener and set aside time to engage in quiet conversation over the course of several months.<br /><br />Remember that young children can be very attached to pets and even to special toys or stuffed animals. Honor their feelings of grief even if the loss does not seem great to you.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">When someone moves away</span><br />Your child may experience the same grief process during the course of a move. If it is your family that is moving, your child has the added loss of familiar surroundings as well as familiar people for whom she cares. Keep as many things consistent in her life as possible. Moving time is not the time to make big changes like potty training or weaning. Try to set your child’s room up in the same way, at least for awhile, and make sure that security objects and favorite toys aren’t packed away. Eating at a familiar fast food chain can reassure your child that this new place may be okay after all.<br /><br />Memories are important no matter how a loss occurs. If a friend or relative has moved, do as much as possible to keep in touch. A photograph album with pictures of her old house, neighborhood, and friends can ease a child’s transition to a new home. Photos sent by a friend who has moved can reassure your child that her friend still exists and still remembers her. Talking about a loved one who has died, looking at photos, or keeping special items that remind the child of the person provide important ways for your child to work through her grief.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Your love and care helps your child deal with loss</span><br />Nothing is as important to your child as your loving care. It can be stressful to deal with a young child when you are grieving or under duress. Take care of yourself and get the help you need in order to be there for your child. Together you can find the comfort to ease your shared sense of loss.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Talking about illness and death with your child</span><br /><ul><li>Recognize that children grieve differently than adults. They grieve in “spurts,” interspersing times of sadness with normal play.</li><li>A child should be prepared for loss when possible. When a death or serious illness occurs, a child should be told as soon as possible, with parents providing support.</li><li>Talk with children honestly, openly, and use words they understand. Children are very literal; using words like “asleep” or “resting” are confusing and may make the child afraid of sleep. Explain the illness or cause of death, if known.</li><li>Give a child a chance to share how s/he is feeling. Be non-judgmental. Take the time to talk when your child expresses feelings.</li><li>Offer the opportunity for children to attend the funeral, memorial service or visitation and honor that decision. Explain what will happen at the service.</li><li>Children usually have three questions for which they need assurance: Did I cause this to happen? Will this happen to me? Who will care for me now?</li></ul> Provided by Stepping Stones, a support program for grieving children and adolescents sponsored by BJC Health Systems in St. Louis, Mo.</span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-51168263031449149652009-06-03T16:46:00.001-07:002009-06-03T16:47:43.530-07:00When being apart is necessary: helping children cope with separation<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNmGZn4DRbBEGvXH7SMCZ2-pt-_8DQvYsbsoOXHuqd7E17KG6_Lmrhj5qntdaq1H07WXbJMoF8Cf2Vg175g4DdXJqRKuiwpYGxFAtiMO44CiO7HmU6Sziu_4Q1_0pz6V2h97KGlGzRfbc/s1600-h/busy.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 226px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNmGZn4DRbBEGvXH7SMCZ2-pt-_8DQvYsbsoOXHuqd7E17KG6_Lmrhj5qntdaq1H07WXbJMoF8Cf2Vg175g4DdXJqRKuiwpYGxFAtiMO44CiO7HmU6Sziu_4Q1_0pz6V2h97KGlGzRfbc/s320/busy.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343252102812480562" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Parents usually want to stay close to their children. But sometimes separations become necessary in the lives of young children. Separations can occur because of business travel, extended family emergencies, military service, hospitalization, incarceration, or vacation travel. When separations are necessary, there is much you can do to reassure your child and stay connected.<br /><br />Make a good plan<br />You are more likely to reassure your child if you are confident that you have left him in good care. Leave doctors’ and dentists’ phone numbers, medical records such as immunization and prescriptions, and a letter giving your child’s caregiver permission to make medical decisions in your absence. If possible, provide a way that you can be reached in an emergency. When you make the best plan you can, it will take a big load off your mind as you face separating from your child.<br /><br />Understand your child’s age and temperament<br />You know your child best. Infants and very young toddlers will miss you, but will feel secure if their environment is calm and their routine remains the same. Be sure to tell your caregiver the kind of things your baby finds soothing. Older children will have a greater awareness that you are gone. Prepare your child for your absence by telling her that you are going away and explain that someone will always take care of her and who that will be. Tell your child you will think about her while you are gone and talk about the things your child will do during the separation.<br /><br /><span class="fullpost">Leave “lovies”<br />Leave some mementos behind by placing pictures of you and your child in a small photo album or zip-lock bag book. Record your voice by singing a favorite lull-a-bye or read a book to your child. For older children mark time apart in a concrete way by making a paper chain with a link for each day. Have the child tear off a link everyday so that he can see the time -- and the chain -- getting shorter. Make a book with pictures of where you are going or find the location on the map together. Leave cards or little gifts to celebrate holidays or birthdays if you will be gone during those times.<br /><br />Stay in touch<br />Send post cards, letters, or pictures to your child. Write a letter or a story and send it by email to their care giver. Call if possible, but have your child’s care giver let you know if phone calls upset your child. Stay positive when you talk to your child and let her know you miss her, but that you are fine and she is well cared for. Focus on what she has been doing, rather than on your absence.<br /><br />Six strategies for coping with extended separations Parent-child separations are a fact of life, but children need to be prepared if the separation will be long term. These strategies can make the process easier:<br /><br /> * Have the child mark the time apart by making an “X” on a calendar each day until the date of your return.<br /> * Leave a recording of yourself reading a favorite bedtime story. This helps children recall your special time together.<br /> * Remember important events that will occur during your time apart, such as a birthday, and leave a card or gift for your child to open on that day.<br /> * Stay in touch as much as possible. Make sure your child understands that you are not “deserting” her and that you love and miss her.<br /> * Show your child where you’ll be by finding the location together on a map or by sharing photos of where you’re going.<br /> * Leave behind a special object that the child can keep as a memento.</span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-27273493596275539682009-06-03T16:41:00.000-07:002009-06-03T16:44:06.031-07:00Beautiful pictures: how you see your child<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY9W21brTKuRnZovDe35gNvWgAHRBIceZ56OgniUMev61Er2wMmOOx_plvv9XrPHk-ASg2J-noRnP9kVYlQWsrnOgkKQctxHfG66cME2O9_Z7dJiTccLwmDumrBG1-6n8jyUq2lawxfqE/s1600-h/img_new-parent-enews.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 317px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY9W21brTKuRnZovDe35gNvWgAHRBIceZ56OgniUMev61Er2wMmOOx_plvv9XrPHk-ASg2J-noRnP9kVYlQWsrnOgkKQctxHfG66cME2O9_Z7dJiTccLwmDumrBG1-6n8jyUq2lawxfqE/s320/img_new-parent-enews.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343250994395245330" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Take a minute to picture your child in your mind’s eye. What do you see? Is your image that of a sweet- smelling, fresh-from-the-bath infant sleeping peacefully? Or perhaps you see your child as fussy and difficult to deal with? Attitudes about children in general, recent experiences with the child, or the success parents feel in their parenting role all contribute to the way parents perceive their little ones. The image you have of your child can influence the way you parent her.<br /><br />Look through a wide-angle lens. When you look for the reasons behind your child’s behavior it is like viewing a scene through a wide-angle lens. Your child’s behavior is his way of communicating with others. When you understand why he is behaving in a certain way, you realize what your child is trying to communicate. For example, your image of a whining child changes if you suspect that he has an ear infection that causes him pain. When you look for the reason behind your child’s behavior, you may see him as needing your help rather than correction for misbehavior. Gain the benefits of viewing your child’s behavior through the wide-angle lens of understanding.<br /><br />Compose the picture. Just as a photographer assembles different items and scenery to compose a beautiful photo, there are many things you need to “put together” to get a complete picture of your child. Here are some things you can do to understand your child’s behavior.<br /><br /> <span class="fullpost">* Learn about child development.<br />Young children change quickly as they grow and develop. When you learn about child development, you can have realistic expectations for your child’s behavior as she enters new stages. For example, knowing that most 2-year olds find it difficult to share helps you see your child’s reluctance to share a favorite toy in a new light.<br /><br /> * Think about your child’s environment.<br />Being hungry or tired makes it harder for young children to control their behavior. Some types of entertainment or hectic schedules can be over-stimulating for your child. Looking closely at your child’s routine and surroundings may give you clues to the reason for his behavior.<br /><br /> * Look for patterns in your child’s behavior.<br />When your child does something that puzzles or upsets you, try to remember what happened just before the incident occurred and what happened as a result of the behavior. You may soon be able to recognize patterns in your child’s behavior.<br /><br /> * Know your child’s temperament.<br />Temperament is a combination of behavior characteristics that is present at birth. For instance, some people are more active than others, some adapt easily to change and for others change is difficult. Knowing your child’s unique personal style helps you understand her behavior.<br /><br />Change the view. As parents, we constantly need to reassess how we see our children. When you have a positive image of your child, she is more likely to behave positively. To help your child reach her potential, you may have to change the way you see her. Together you can make beautiful pictures for a lifetime.<br /><br />Old time rhymes<br />Nursery rhymes have been around for generations and for good reasons. Rhyming words attract babies’ attention and help them recognize sounds that are similar. The humorous content of nursery rhymes helps older children’s comprehension. And nursery rhymes are just plain fun for children and parents alike! Here are some ways to enjoy nursery rhymes with your child.<br /><br />With babies: Pick one or two rhymes to croon to your baby before bedtime. She will like to hear the same rhyme over and over and will begin to associate it with being sleepy. This will help her go to sleep.<br /><br />With crawlers: These little ones are on the move! Hold their hands and clap to the beat of a nursery rhyme, or grasp those little legs and guide them in a bicycling motion! Movement makes muscles strong.<br /><br />With toddlers: One-year-olds are developing language rapidly. Put lots of inflection in your voice as you say nursery rhymes to children this age. Use a funny voice; draw out the words that rhyme to emphasize them.<br /><br />With two-year olds: Look for picture books that illustrate classic rhymes. Read these to your child and let him look at the pictures. When he is familiar with the rhyme, pause before saying the rhyming words to let him think, and later to supply the word.<br /><br />With young preschoolers: These children are nursery rhyme pros! Encourage them to learn rhymes by heart by saying part of a line and letting them finish it from memory. But don’t push your child to perform in front of company. That’s overwhelming for some children. You will know when you have a little ham that loves performing!<br /><br />With older preschoolers: Leave out a word of a rhyme and let your child think of funny alternatives. For example, you say, “Bah, bah, black sheep, have you any ________? Your child supplies, “Bubble gum!” or something equally silly. Finish the rhyme with lots of laughter, and expect this game to go on for a long time!</span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-12244555185980049582009-06-03T16:10:00.000-07:002009-06-03T16:34:31.299-07:00On the road to reading<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu5mmpO29DvOW2JH69pXQONh0U1Be9jUlDd-hTfVkQyTv0egzSqSgSs3FCAdjskNN6puUUzQ7ZOEWMf7EhuGEMLSFEayUTfAmbgY5CqN3tfuy3Q7xEg_A7jtiJd-UmPRvoPxifl63ol1Y/s1600-h/117533082005parent-child-reading.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu5mmpO29DvOW2JH69pXQONh0U1Be9jUlDd-hTfVkQyTv0egzSqSgSs3FCAdjskNN6puUUzQ7ZOEWMf7EhuGEMLSFEayUTfAmbgY5CqN3tfuy3Q7xEg_A7jtiJd-UmPRvoPxifl63ol1Y/s320/117533082005parent-child-reading.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343248698807325746" border="0" /></a><br />If you have a very young child, you may not be thinking about the day when she will read her first book to you. And yet, children begin on the road to reading very early in life. Here are some signs that show your child has already begun the great adventure of learning to read.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Baby steps</span><br />Even your newborn is gaining skills that will prepare him to learn to read. You have noticed how intently your child stares at light and dark patterns with high contrast. Good vision is necessary for distinguishing dark letters on light paper. By looking around and staring at interesting things, your baby is completing the connections in the vision centers of the brain necessary for good visual discrimination.<br /><br />Learning language is an important milestone on the road to reading. When your baby looks intently into your eyes, she is learning the art of communication. As she babbles and learns first words, she is experimenting with sounds of letters. By six months of age, the auditory circuits in your child’s brain will be tuned to the sounds of her native language to the exclusion of speech sounds from other languages.<br /><br />Reading to your baby, even when he is very young, is vital. Researchers say that a child must have thousands of experiences with print and listening to words read before they are ready to read themselves. If your older baby grabs his book and tries to put it in his mouth, he is not being disrespectful; he is just getting to know it and showing how interested he is.<br /><br /><span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Toddling along</span><br />When your baby begins walking on her own, she may find it harder to sit still and look at a book with you. Don’t be discouraged! Sit on the floor and read while your child plays near you. She will stop by frequently to look at pictures or listen. Your child will also learn how to handle a book during this time, holding books right side up and turning pages. As your child gets closer to age 2, she will become very interested in looking at the pictures, possibly pointing and naming familiar objects.<br /><br />Ages 1 and 2 are important time for language development. First your child will begin understanding more of what he hears, then he will begin to say words himself. By 2 years of age, he will combine words into short sentences. Learning to read has a similar sequence. First your child will listen and understand what you read to him and then will begin to read words himself. This is an important age to say nursery rhymes and sing songs to your child. Hearing rhyming words teaches your child to tell the difference between sounds, a skill he’ll need when learning to read.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Racing to school</span><br />When your child turns 3, it seems as if school is just around the corner. Many parents worry that their child needs to learn letters and numbers in order to be ready for formal reading instruction. But there are many other things that pave the road to reading during the preschool years. Children become good at pretending, a sign that they can let an object, symbol or idea stand for something else. This is an important intellectual development, as your child will need to understand that a letter represents a particular sound before she can read words.<br /><br />Vocabulary increases dramatically during the preschool years as children have a wider range of experiences. Children must be able to say words in order to read them. Rhyming continues to help your child learn sounds. And preschoolers like to play with words – the sillier the conversation gets the better! Experimenting with sounds is a fun way to progress toward reading.<br /><br />Your preschooler will probably be curious about letters and words. She may learn to recognize her name when she sees it written. Because she recognizes that letters grouped into words mean something, she will ask you what print says when she sees it. Your child may surprise you by “reading” familiar signs or the names of favorite products. She will be very eager to use paper and pencil, and will distinguish between her drawing and her writing, although they may look very similar to you! She may even learn to write some letters that are important to her, such as her name.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">On the road</span><br />The road to reading is smooth for most children, but can be rocky for some. Unlike learning to talk, children are not born with the instinct to read. Reading must be intentionally learned. As your child’s first and most influential teacher, you can provide him with a good start on the road to reading.</span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-23507731915131690752009-06-03T15:58:00.000-07:002009-06-03T16:37:35.372-07:00Reading together to build early literacy<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE_wTU117vbX2-OrQk20t4tt6Ka2GZQKHFCqmrX2uog6xyuOFyAfGSLbGgqc5CdXniS7UmV18AnQe6YdhEaKV-Y__f4vfHwQ20YSeCnaKcUqYg7CQ9jzZzV37T7XSNWHdKshrWzHshugk/s1600-h/WomanWithChildReading.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 307px; height: 307px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE_wTU117vbX2-OrQk20t4tt6Ka2GZQKHFCqmrX2uog6xyuOFyAfGSLbGgqc5CdXniS7UmV18AnQe6YdhEaKV-Y__f4vfHwQ20YSeCnaKcUqYg7CQ9jzZzV37T7XSNWHdKshrWzHshugk/s320/WomanWithChildReading.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343249586224074594" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Did you know that you can help your child get ready to read even while he is very young? When an infant shows excitement over pictures next to his crib, or a toddler turns the pages of a board book, or a preschooler recognizes the first letter of his name on a cereal box, each is demonstrating emerging literacy skills. Reading to your child from birth is the best way to make him a successful reader when he starts school.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Early stages</span><br />Developing language is the first step in learning to read, and it occurs very early in life. When you read to your child from the time she is born, you provide a rich language environment for her. Your child hears words that may not occur in the normal course of a day, increasing her exposure to a wide variety of speech sounds. When you cradle your baby and read with inflection in your voice, your child learns to associate reading with love, comfort and pleasure—the beginning of a positive attitude which provides motivation for learning to read.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Toddler years</span><br />Toddlers have the reputation for being on the go, and you may be discouraged in your attempts to read to your child during this stage of development. But toddlers learn important things from reading—they just learn them standing up! Children this age like books that have photographs of objects and text that names the pictures. Nursery rhymes and books with rhyming text are important because rhyming promotes the awareness of letter sounds, which is necessary for reading. Toddlerhood is the time to learn how to handle a book, such as holding the book right side up and turning paper pages.<br /><br /><span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Preschool</span><br />As children enter the preschool years, they develop an appreciation of the plot and characters of a story. Exposure to quality picture books increases your child’s enjoyment of reading and engages his imagination. More complex stories build your child’s comprehension skills and provide a knowledge base from which he can understand concepts and new ideas. Skills such as identifying the title of a book, tracing text with a finger while it is read, talking about pictures, and speculating about where the plot is going are setting the stage for learning to read in the early years of school. Literacy also develops when your child sees printed words in his environment, such as signs, lists, menus or labels. When you read this “environmental print” to your child, you show him that reading is important in every day life.<br /><br />Read to your child each day, no matter how young she is. You will be giving her just the right experiences she needs to become a good reader in the future!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Experts say…</span><br />Reading experts Susan Hall and Louise Moats sum up the benefits of reading aloud to your child in the early years. Your child:<br /><br />* develops background knowledge for more complicated learning<br />* builds vocabulary<br />* is exposed to rich language patterns<br />* learns the structure of a story<br />* learns how to handle books and becomes familiar with reading<br />* identifies reading as a pleasurable activity<br /><br />Want to read more about the importance of reading to your child? Look for these resources:<br /><br />* Straight Talk About Reading by S. Hall and L. Moats<br />* Helping Your Child Become a Reader by U. S. Department of Education Office of Intergovernmental Affairs</span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-33504283024009577792009-06-01T02:56:00.000-07:002009-06-01T03:02:34.216-07:00Helping your child learn self-regulation through play<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwp9RDxasEX5K1cSpJmuFodBKggbmuIDwbr0LNAENSRpcd1jvfn7ZvniWU0KqnO1qcoGLsdW1DIGBiqnOj9upmNATqXuuzs6KyC4Dn-WZgmxJ2V2eDhu3D8YNRrHrsKi1I5u5DxxqgBUw/s1600-h/parent_with_children.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 232px; height: 174px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwp9RDxasEX5K1cSpJmuFodBKggbmuIDwbr0LNAENSRpcd1jvfn7ZvniWU0KqnO1qcoGLsdW1DIGBiqnOj9upmNATqXuuzs6KyC4Dn-WZgmxJ2V2eDhu3D8YNRrHrsKi1I5u5DxxqgBUw/s320/parent_with_children.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342297392144358002" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Play is so important for your child’s development. You already know your child gains intellectual skills as he figures out solutions to problems when he plays, but playing can also help your child learn skills such as focusing his attention on a task or sitting still while he plays. This is called self-regulation and it is an important skill for your child to have by the time he enters school.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:verdana;" >Self-regulation is important in school readiness</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> Self-regulation is a term that refers to the child’s ability to focus his attention and control his behavior. He must understand what is asked of him in a given situation, monitor his own behavior to see if it matches, and maintain or change what he is doing based on his evaluation. Teachers know the importance of self-regulation. A child who is self-regulated can stay in his seat and focus on the task at hand. He can pay attention to the teacher when she is talking or reading out loud without being unduly distracted. And the self-regulated child can make productive use of time when the teacher is busy with other students; he does not require the teacher’s constant attention to learn.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Developing self-regulation begins at birth. As you watch your baby imitate your sounds, or learn to put himself to sleep, you are watching him build the self-regulation that will help him learn in school. Think about your baby as he learns to reach out and grasp a rattle held in front of him. He has to focus on the toy and control his arm and hand to connect with it. It takes a lot of work and concentration, but your child’s desire to play encourages his effort.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:verdana;" >Parents can help</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">You play an essential role in helping your child develop self-regulation. First and foremost, the close relationship you build with your child helps him to regulate his emotions and his actions. We call this early relationship attachment, and it develops because your baby learns to trust you to fulfill his needs. He can rely on your consistent care and attention, so he learns to quiet and control himself.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Playtime is an excellent opportunity to build your relationship with your child and help him regulate his own behavior. Play is fun for everyone, and when you give your attention to your child and share an enjoyable activity, you strengthen the bond between you. Your child has an innate desire to play, so he is motivated to focus his attention and keep up positive behaviors that allow the play to continue. Here are just two ways you help your child develop self-regulation when you join him in play:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Model language for your child to use. If your child does not use many words yet, your description of what he is doing helps him connect his actions to words. Soon he will be talking and may use “self-talk” to help control his behavior. Self-talk is private speech in which the child “reminds” himself what to do. As your child’s language and emotional development progresses, you will encourage him to use his words to express feelings instead of acting on them. Playtime is a great opportunity to practice using words instead of actions before the situation becomes out of control.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Be a consultant to your child as he plays. As children begin to pretend, they have very simple scripts. Picking up a brush and pretending to brush his hair is a toddler’s idea of pretending. But if you join in the play, you might show him how to brush his teddy bear. If your child is older, you may extend his play by suggesting new roles or new uses for play materials. When your child plays a role, he conforms his behavior to it, and that increases his self-regulation skills.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Self-regulation is also promoted when your child follows the rules of a make believe scenario. Preschoolers will often make up elaborate rules for you when you play with them, such as “Now you are the daddy and you have to go to work but you have to kiss the baby first.” Remember, your child should be in control of the play, and your job is to offer suggestions and follow his lead.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Playing board games or playground games gives you many opportunities to help your child develop self-regulation. In the beginning, keep game rules simple even if you have to modify them to fit your child’s self-regulatory skills. Be patient as you model following the rules for your child, and expect him to want to change the rules in his favor!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">With you as a play partner your child will learn the self-control and attention to task he will need later on. Play with your child daily, and watch his self-regulation grow! </span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-80381233289996044052009-05-19T11:49:00.000-07:002009-05-19T11:52:55.857-07:00Quick Tips for Parents<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisJ1mKqEh2bUSMtjTAKJtda6mUwLssyhxmmZFqPJKo6RkIMdqzoZycK130NMiqiiY_gnfVpLUdKU_Nx6uDktqEFLdzVzsyutsnSHBgAeii1X3QrjyHvh8eYCzOOPxTVunngde6JocDyC8/s1600-h/joys_of_parenting.193103827_std.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 309px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisJ1mKqEh2bUSMtjTAKJtda6mUwLssyhxmmZFqPJKo6RkIMdqzoZycK130NMiqiiY_gnfVpLUdKU_Nx6uDktqEFLdzVzsyutsnSHBgAeii1X3QrjyHvh8eYCzOOPxTVunngde6JocDyC8/s320/joys_of_parenting.193103827_std.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337609715391840418" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span> <ul><li style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size:100%;">No matter how old your children are, know where they are, whom they are with, and what they are doing. This helps prevent problems and shows your kids that you care about them.<br /> </span> </li><li style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Never use spanking or other forms of physical punishment with your child. An occasional swat on the rear end is okay as an attention-getter, but it should never be the punishment.<br /> </span> </li><li style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size:100%;">You can criticize a child’s behavior, but never criticize the child.<br /> </span> </li><li style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Never verbally put down your child. There’s a difference between correcting your child and attacking your child.<br /> </span> </li><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" >Be a “5-to-1” parent. Every time you give your child a consequence for misbehavior, provide five opportunities for him or her to earn your praise or a reward.</span><br /> </span> </li></ul> <span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-44845310091811538622009-05-19T11:45:00.000-07:002009-05-19T11:48:20.640-07:00Bad Friendships<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyeGTyEcKH9u4poeMoi5F8jutV_hcIKp9nMzGf6rHrwpyCfkKmWRYDfeZ_e6LFSmVMYKmIsNYbqFvUY4kAexcse-z8DbcHk-lbq_s7OeVrm2IaJgOZkW67rYK1sZ-VaUiDfl4FFHACspE/s1600-h/blt-area-teen-focus-group.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 298px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyeGTyEcKH9u4poeMoi5F8jutV_hcIKp9nMzGf6rHrwpyCfkKmWRYDfeZ_e6LFSmVMYKmIsNYbqFvUY4kAexcse-z8DbcHk-lbq_s7OeVrm2IaJgOZkW67rYK1sZ-VaUiDfl4FFHACspE/s320/blt-area-teen-focus-group.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337608452812317746" border="0" /></a><br />At one time or another, most teens find themselves in a bad friendship. Maybe the actions or words of a so-called friend make your teen uncomfortable or embarrassed. If you’re concerned your child may get involved in a bad relationship, share with him or her some of the warning signs.<br /><br />Here are things your teen should watch out for:<br /><br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> * You can’t be yourself without getting criticism from your “friend.”</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br />* Your “friend” doesn’t give you any space.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br />* Your “friend” is pushy, wanting everything his or her own way.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> * Your “friend” is overly critical of you and others.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br />* Your “friend” is jealous of you and other friends.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br />* Your “friend” may lie to you, teachers or parents.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br />* You feel that your “friend” directs “put-downs” toward you and others.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br />* Your “friend” does not treat you as an equal. </span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-46027171892520832122009-05-19T11:32:00.000-07:002009-05-19T11:42:00.963-07:00The Bully, The “Bullied” and The Bystander<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFMFrBu7WcsCSfpdEjAP23kf_yZN7dOXjWeTeEDbF3gnh4TadMLIadr3Zm4uJsgKCR16j1JAJprzA3dvkahuBuOO1ikOArCmBlycgK0I2m-FS9qMHeiKVE7JSIsn88PexywS1O5hu1pwg/s1600-h/Teen-graphic.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFMFrBu7WcsCSfpdEjAP23kf_yZN7dOXjWeTeEDbF3gnh4TadMLIadr3Zm4uJsgKCR16j1JAJprzA3dvkahuBuOO1ikOArCmBlycgK0I2m-FS9qMHeiKVE7JSIsn88PexywS1O5hu1pwg/s320/Teen-graphic.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337607141498193314" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Wherever there are children, there are bullies. In your neighborhood. In your school. Maybe in your own home.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Bullies use fear to get away with unacceptable behavior. Their victims (the “bullied”) fear continued abuse if they tell. Bystanders fear becoming the next victim. The “bullied” suffer in silence while repeatedly getting harassed. Bystanders stay silent to avoid the unwanted attention. It’s a vicious, unending cycle.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Studies on bullying show that younger and weaker youth are victimized most often. In addition, the bully-victim relationship tends to continue unless there is some sort of intervention from parents or other adults.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Bullies come in all sizes, ages and genders. The tactics they use vary widely. Some get physical. Others play on emotion. Boys often use force (punching, kicking, tripping, etc.). Girls often rely on subtle actions (gossip, manipulation, exclusion, etc.). Other characteristics include:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">* Bullies are impulsive</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:verdana;" > * Bullies have little, if any, empathy</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:verdana;" > * Bullies do not suffer from low self-esteem</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:verdana;" > * Bullies need to control and dominate others</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:verdana;" > * Bullies have a positive attitude toward aggression</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:verdana;" > * Bullies have more physical or emotional power than their victims</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-family:verdana;" > * Bullies have a strong desire to get or achieve something they feel they need </span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:verdana;" >The Victim</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Bullies like to pick on those who can’t or won’t stick up for themselves. Unfortunately, many victims lack the social skills and social networks that can keep them from being victimized. As a parent, you can help bully-proof your child by doing the following:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">* Teach Your Teen To Be A Friend</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> There is strength in numbers. Encourage your teen to develop friendships. If he or she has a special interest – sports or music – find programs that your teen can participate in. The more social interactions he or she has, the more friendships that can develop. Your teen will also become better skilled at dealing with a variety of personalities and handling different social interactions.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">* Build Your Teen’s Social Skills</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> Humor can be a powerful weapon for disarming a bully. The ability to laugh at oneself first, rather than laughing at someone else’s expense, is a skill everyone needs. Teach your teen friendship skills, including getting along with others and showing appreciation. The bottom line for your teen: He or she has to act like a friend to have a friend.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">* Teach Your Teen Self-Respect</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> Kids who can hold their heads high and walk with confidence are less likely to be singled out. Some victims actually believe they deserve to be attacked because of a self-perceived flaw in how they look, the way they talk, how they dress or any number of reasons. They start acting like victims. They become withdrawn. They slouch and avoid eye contact.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">You need to remind your teen of his or her strengths. Encourage your teen to use positive self-talk during difficult moments. Help him or her see challenges as opportunities.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:verdana;" >The Bystander</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">It can be very hard for a teen to take a stand and defend someone who is being bullied, especially if the victim is considered to be a “loser” or “weird.” Has your teen ever described a bullying situation, and have you ever asked what he or she did to stop it?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Some bystanders are too afraid to get involved. They don’t want to be a target. Some experience feelings of guilt because they did nothing. If a victim is a friend or classmate, some bystanders choose to disassociate themselves from the victim. Others blame the victim.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">As a parent, it’s important to teach and reinforce virtues such as caring and respect. Here are things you can do to instill these values in your teen:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">* Model respect and kindness at home. If you and your spouse are considerate and compassionate to each other and your family, your child will likely treat others the same way.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:verdana;" > * Show respect for those in authority, including teachers and police officers.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:verdana;" > * Have positive expectations for your child’s behavior. Praise your child’s acts of kindness and discipline him or her for bad behavior.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:verdana;" > * Encourage your teen to volunteer in the community. This will give your teen a sense of obligation to others. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Bullying is a difficult problem that only gets worse when it’s ignored. Victims and bystanders can’t be expected to resolve the issue all on their own. Talk to school administrators to find out how they are dealing with the problem. If necessary, you or a representative from the school should contact the parents of bullies and make them aware of their children’s behavior.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Pretending the problem doesn’t exist won’t make it go away. Everyone must correct the behavior when it happens and be proactive in trying to prevent bullying.</span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-33601512561284188592009-05-16T06:00:00.001-07:002009-05-16T06:17:44.428-07:00Cyber Bullying Help, Tips and Advice<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">By: Laura Buddenberg and Kathy McGee</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Boys Town Training, Evaluation and Certification</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:verdana;" >April:</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">god it sounds like sam had more fun with you then he ever does with me.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Brittany:</span> now that isn’t true!!!<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">April:</span> </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">he is gonna cheat…so I will have nothing to live for anymore… so im gonna just plan on killin myself sometime soon. I wish you weren’t gonna let him cheat Brittany, its not fair to me…but I guess if you want to let him that’s fine…ill just start planning on how its gonna end for me…i’m not good enuf 4 him<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Brittany:</span> u r good enuf 4 him!<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">April:</span> he hates me, you hate me, and im going to kill myself and if you send this convo to him in an email like you did the last one…im going to kill myself right now</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Dialogue from an adult daytime drama? Scene from a teen slasher movie? No, it’s a real instant messaging (IM) conversation between two teen girls who HAVE NEVER EVEN MET IN PERSON! This same type of cyber bullying is happening all over the Internet, on email and on personal Web pages, like MySpace, Xanga, Facebook and YouTube.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Wake up, Mom and Dad. Kids everywhere use the Internet and it’s not just a benign modern distraction. The Web is being used as a blunt weapon of relational aggression and mass destruction. Sure, some kids use it to find out about Friday’s math homework or what time everyone’s meeting at the mall. But youngsters often wield the Internet for much more sinister purposes. It is tailor made for aggression. Kids are drawn to its power for spreading gossip quickly, anonymously and to an infinite audience.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">The Internet is like the old child’s game “telephone,” only on steroids. Misunderstandings proliferate. Words can hurt. The Internet inflames that harm.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">It starts with online anonymity. You can pretend to be someone else. You can listen to others’ conversations behind their backs. You can get caught up in the moment. Because you aren’t face-to-face and there’s no immediate personal feedback, you might say things you’d never say in person (37% of kids who go online report they’ve done just that!). This makes it easy to spread untruths and gossip or to talk nasty, because no one sees you. The Internet is a boundary-less environment.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">This talk is worse than a verbal rumor; those eventually die out. Kids can cut, paste, print or forward the conversations; consequently, a malicious tale can live on forever. Think of the wound that inflicts on a kid.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Has your child been on the receiving end of mysterious rumors? Does he or she suddenly have friendship troubles? Is he or she moodier than usual? Has he or she stopped hanging out with certain people? Check to see if the Web is the culprit.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Don’t be naïve. The Internet is here to stay. Eighty-seven percent of those between the ages of 12 and 17 are online.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So, parents, this is a heads-up. Does your child use instant messaging? Has he or she been the target of, or engaged in, online bullying? If your kids don’t know how to respond when spiteful chat and rumors start, they may do lifelong damage to someone – or get deeply hurt themselves.<br /><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Oi1zqbKSFekki-SOQkVqIKse6s_abPzaAuNH8wm3kTseuQM2s4EDe4yXsR_GmlOEn0Fhoe1dn5Kw2z_uYEtsAPBDchIGHvC-RxN_bP2qObEA3OEZ4pDvnJkdrSVpMnnW5_gsd-rJPLY/s1600-h/parenting-advice.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 288px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Oi1zqbKSFekki-SOQkVqIKse6s_abPzaAuNH8wm3kTseuQM2s4EDe4yXsR_GmlOEn0Fhoe1dn5Kw2z_uYEtsAPBDchIGHvC-RxN_bP2qObEA3OEZ4pDvnJkdrSVpMnnW5_gsd-rJPLY/s320/parenting-advice.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336410206739827634" border="0" /></a></div>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-82362865465072294582009-05-16T05:55:00.000-07:002009-05-16T05:57:10.157-07:00Don't Bailout on Your Family Because of the Tough Economy<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></span></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Hopeful Family Solutions in Tough Economic Times</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">A Message from Father Steven Boes, Boys Town National Executive Director.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">As our current economic crisis puts a strain on more families, it may be time for a Parenting Stimulus Package to keep our homes a nurturing place for our children.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">At Boys Town programs across the country, we know raising children is not easy even in times of prosperity. Families are struggling and those who are near the edge of despair are being put over the edge.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">There is hopeful news for families. There are free or low cost, simple ways to make life easier and improve your relationship with your children.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">First, reassure your children things will work out even when money problems lead to parental disagreements. I am blessed to have grown up in a rural community. That didn’t mean we had an easy life and that my mom and dad didn’t fight. We sometimes heard heated exchanges, but my parents always were reassuring. They made it a point to explain adults sometimes disagree. They then gave each other a kiss in front of us, telling us they loved each other and us. Let your children know that families who love each other and are willing to work things out can overcome any problem.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">My family’s example is exactly what Father Flanagan spoke of: “There are no bad boys -- Only bad environment, bad training and bad example. Just like my folks, Boys Town tries to reassure its children by showing good example, providing good environments and good training. You, as parents, can do that, too.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">Something we find key to helping Boys Town children is training them to make good decisions. In our Common Sense Parenting® classes and book, we have a process called SODAS – Situation, Options, Disadvantages, Advantages and Solution – that works in any family.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">For example, money may be tight, and the children want to buy expensive video games. Parenting with SODAS will present children with the Situation of what resources are available for recreation, food and clothes. The next step is to help them go through the Options of how to use those resources. You can teach your children to weigh the Advantages and Disadvantages of the Options. It will help them arrive at a reasonable Solution like renting a DVD, popping popcorn and enjoying an activity as a family. This solution will not only be less expensive, but will promote family togetherness – which is what children really want.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">SODAS can be applied to almost any problem. It also will create a bond between you and your children and reduce problem behaviors because your children are part of the solution.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">My final message is for families running out of options. Everyone needs help. Parents, no matter how tough it is, never give up on your children. However, if you are so tired and stressed you are about to give up; it is time to ask for help.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">Connect with a friend, family member, church or school group to get help. You also can reach out to Boys Town. Our Boys Town National Hotline for parents and children is free. You can call 1.800.448.3000 any time and find a calm voice, problem-solving advice and a connection to resources in your community.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">If we take a healthy body, mind and spirit approach as a family, we can weather this and any other crisis.</span></span>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-73008430028058967992008-11-16T09:10:00.000-08:002009-05-16T04:55:01.178-07:00Getting Kids to Listen - Part 2<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> <w:cachedcolbalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont val="Cambria Math"> <m:brkbin val="before"> <m:brkbinsub val="--"> <m:smallfrac val="off"> <m:dispdef/> <m:lmargin val="0"> <m:rmargin val="0"> <m:defjc val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent val="1440"> <m:intlim val="subSup"> <m:narylim val="undOvr"> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" defunhidewhenused="true" defsemihidden="true" defqformat="false" defpriority="99" latentstylecount="267"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Normal"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="heading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="35" qformat="true" name="caption"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="10" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" name="Default Paragraph Font"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="11" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtitle"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="22" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Strong"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="20" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="59" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Table Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Placeholder Text"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="No Spacing"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Revision"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="34" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="List Paragraph"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="29" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="30" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 159 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:595.35pt 841.95pt; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12;" >Getting Kids to Listen - Part 2<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >Elizabeth Pantley, author of "Kid Cooperation and Perfect Parenting" says instead of yelling there are some easy steps parents can take to get kids to do what they ask. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >Think Before You Speak</span></b><span style=";font-family:";" > <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >Sometimes as adults we ask our children to do things before we think of what we are doing or what the consequences are. Instead of just yelling your kids it’s for everyone to get ready to go out to eat and then taking another 15 minutes to find your car keys, find the keys first. Before you ask them to clean their rooms and let them get away with not doing so for days, decide exactly how long you will allow them to stay dirty. These kinds of things help "create kids who have selective hearing" says Pantley. Children don’t listen unless they know it will impact them in some way. Why should they? We all have to have a reason to listen!" adds child psychologist, Susan Quinn. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >Be Very Specific</span></b><span style=";font-family:";" > <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >Do not give incomplete requests that are hinting at the things you would like your child to do, hoping their good hearts will prevail. "It would be nice if you.." or "Don’t you think you should??.." is not clear and specific. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >"Children don’t listen unless they know it will impact them in some way. Why should they? We all have to have a reason to listen!" adds Susan Quinn, MA, Marriage and Family Therapist. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >Control Your Emotions</span></b><span style=";font-family:";" >, <b>Convey Authority</b> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >"Pantley notes that when you, as a parent, "lose your temper and raise your voice" logically you think that "your kids will pay closer attention to you." But the opposite is actually true as kids "key in on your anger." Instead of yelling "keep your voice even and calm and your words clear and specific." <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >Get Up Close And Personal</span></b><span style=";font-family:";" > <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >Everyone is guilty of it- yelling from across the room or house. "While it is a whole lot easier to yell from two rooms away, its much less effective. Children respond much, much better to a parent who is facing them eye-to eye," says Pantley. "Get down to their level and explain why they need to listen," adds Elise. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >Being Physically Close, Eye-to-Eye</span></b><span style=";font-family:";" > <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >It’s not only helps you make a point better but also helps you observe whether your child is looking at you and listening or looking at the ceiling, laughing, talking under his or her breath at siblings or friends or sighing at your requests.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >Pantley urges parents to post a reminder of the steps she suggests at home (See box.) to practice their skills in<span style=""> </span>getting their children to listen. "You need to remind yourself of what you are trying to do and to keep your goals fresh in your mind…It’s a tough job, but with a few new skills and enough practice you will be successful." <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >Be Unified, Set Limits <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >"Parents need to be unified in what they expect and what they convey to their children. It’s always important to have a common, unified front," says Paul Gettinger, a family physician who is also the father of five young children.<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >"If parents set AND ENFORCE limits, children will be interested in listening because we as people always listen to what is going to affect our lives. The problem I sometimes find and what I try to educated parents with is that limits are loving and they must be enforced because they contain and teach the child what to expect. Limits represent the real world and so they (children) have to learn them to exist in society," notes Quinn.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >Susan Smith, a musician and mother of six children ages 2 through 12 says one of the biggest problems with parents keeping their children in line is "lack of direction. With our kids, we have learned that you have to decide as an adult what you want and expect and to tell them the rules."<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >Remember, You Are Not Their Friend, You Are Their Parent! <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >You can’t be your child’s best friend- "The number one problem with many parents is that they want to be their child’s buddy. There is so much inconsistency in these kinds of families. Often these are the parents who give them too much stuff, such as toys, as well to make them happy," says Smith. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >"Children need the boundaries. Being a "best friend" to a child is great but at some point I think that the respect issue or lack of respect comes into play. When you are a parent and set boundaries and consequences as well as discipline, you can’t be the best friend also. A best friend is a peer that understands and feels a kinship to you. Being a "best friend" is not effective in most situations because the child becomes confused as to what role the parent is playing in their lives and will become less likely to follow the rules or accept the consequences to their actions," says Snead. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >All Parents Are Capable <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" >"Parents are dedicated in helping children grow up strong. Most of all, parents have a built-in motivation to do what’s best for their child. By building on these kinds of strengths, parents can develop better who is in charge of their lives and succeed," says the US Department of Health and Human Services, SAMSA, National Mental Health Information Center. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >Some useful reminders: <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >•<span style=""> </span>Think first. <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >•<span style=""> </span>Be specific.<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >•<span style=""> </span>Control Emotions.<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >•<span style=""> </span>Convey authority.<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";" >•<span style=""> </span>Eye-to-eye.</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLa9SxslO5gTxG50qfYW2RXaIcO0ouqlWONCeslk7QlNmpKCmGsjOLdNB1-0Dc_ZkAcW4xBvsWcq1aRYn5g-9pdc0zn_MI8eJ46VINFGgxFdkwbBZQd8Wxl7igYvz7cwKKeaw_Z1HiLQo/s1600-h/purestock_1574r-01511a.medium_w3fc_e1es.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLa9SxslO5gTxG50qfYW2RXaIcO0ouqlWONCeslk7QlNmpKCmGsjOLdNB1-0Dc_ZkAcW4xBvsWcq1aRYn5g-9pdc0zn_MI8eJ46VINFGgxFdkwbBZQd8Wxl7igYvz7cwKKeaw_Z1HiLQo/s320/purestock_1574r-01511a.medium_w3fc_e1es.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336388600786021586" border="0" /></a>
<br /><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-1392465701663035062008-11-16T09:00:00.000-08:002008-11-16T09:06:40.420-08:00Getting Kids to Listen - Part 1<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> <w:cachedcolbalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont val="Cambria Math"> <m:brkbin val="before"> <m:brkbinsub val="--"> <m:smallfrac val="off"> <m:dispdef/> <m:lmargin val="0"> <m:rmargin val="0"> <m:defjc val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent val="1440"> <m:intlim val="subSup"> <m:narylim val="undOvr"> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" defunhidewhenused="true" defsemihidden="true" defqformat="false" defpriority="99" latentstylecount="267"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Normal"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="heading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="35" qformat="true" name="caption"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="10" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" name="Default Paragraph Font"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="11" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtitle"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="22" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Strong"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="20" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="59" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Table Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Placeholder Text"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="No Spacing"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Revision"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="34" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="List Paragraph"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="29" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="30" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 159 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:595.35pt 841.95pt; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal;"><b style=""><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; color: rgb(192, 80, 77);">Getting Kids to Listen - Part 1<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Amy Stouder knows that she shouldn’t yell at her kids to get their attention, but sometimes it just comes out.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">"When I am stressed, I guess I can’t help myself. I get frustrated and I yell, "says Amy, a parent of three young children who is also a part-time at-home caregiver for her children and others. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Taking a deep breath and walking away and then coming up with the right words spoken in a quieter tone of voice works much better during these times she notes, adding she is "only human, just like other people, about the occasional outburst of shouting that she hopes will grab their attention. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Getting a child to listen is a lot more work and takes more effort than venting out our frustrations, but it is well worth the effort and everyone can learn to do it say experts including an author, the US Department of the Health and Human Services, National Mental Health information Center, family counselor and two nannies. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><b style=""><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">DON’T SHOUT!!<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When a parent yells to get their child to listen, many people think that they are rightfully doing so. What if a child is screaming in the cereal aisle asking for her favorite cereal, or in another instance, a child is yelling and slapping his brother in church? The truth is shouting is a mistake in getting children to listen. By not screaming and shouting you can often get the behavior you are looking for, say experienced nannies. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">"Stay calm. If you are calm and reason with children on their own level, most times this is effective because the child will actually listen to you. Having someone calmly explaining the situation and consequences of the child’s actions also seems to work. There isn’t the loss of control on either part..but sometimes when the shouting starts as with older children, it end up being the child and parent both losing control and then no one really gets heard and nothing gets solved,: says Jill E. Snead, a Nanny Counselor with Nanny On The Net.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">"I think it is a parent or caregiver’s first instinct to yell. But I remind myself how much I hate to be yelled at and I try really hard not to do the same to others. Even though yelling might get their attention initially, in the long run I don’t believe it encourages any kind of positive behavior and it just makes them think it’s ok for them to yess also," adds Elise Schiellack, a nanny with A New England Nanny in Albany, New York who thinks children can drown out the yelling if it becomes habit. "They get so used to their parents screaming that they don’t pay attention to what they’re actually getting yelled at for," says Elise.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-7130715988287743072008-11-16T08:44:00.000-08:002008-11-16T08:45:23.138-08:00Understanding Your Teenager’s Stress<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> <w:cachedcolbalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont val="Cambria Math"> <m:brkbin val="before"> <m:brkbinsub val="--"> <m:smallfrac val="off"> <m:dispdef/> <m:lmargin val="0"> <m:rmargin val="0"> <m:defjc val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent val="1440"> <m:intlim val="subSup"> <m:narylim val="undOvr"> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" defunhidewhenused="true" defsemihidden="true" defqformat="false" defpriority="99" latentstylecount="267"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Normal"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="heading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="35" qformat="true" name="caption"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="10" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" name="Default Paragraph Font"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="11" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtitle"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="22" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Strong"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="20" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="59" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Table Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Placeholder Text"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="No Spacing"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Revision"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="34" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="List Paragraph"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="29" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="30" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 159 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:595.35pt 841.95pt; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; color: rgb(192, 80, 77);">Understanding Your Teenager’s Stress<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I remember my teenage years very fondly compared to the stresses of being a parent and head of the household. As adults and parents many of us are faced with unending bills and various responsibilities that can sometimes get the best of all of us. As adults we have to deal with more complex issues and responsibilities that may have surpassed our wildest dreams and expectations. Clearly, when we were younger, we never fully understood the complexities of being an adult until you became one. Naturally, your teenage child may not be able to fully comprehend this truth. However, that does not mean the situations they have to deal with is any less important to them and understanding this helps us better communicate with our teens. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In todays world it can be especially tougher to be a teenager than it was in our time, it is important to be able to respect and understand that your child may be going through some very stressful times. This means that it helps to be able to acknowledge in ourselves that while we may be under stress from jobs, bills or other situations, our child may be under stress too and his or her stress is in no way inferior to yours. Helping them through their stress and showing that our own stress does not get us down and that we can overcome can help our kids grow into resiliant adults. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Many parents of teenagers often fall into the trap of a power struggle with their children once they hit adolescence. This happens because this is the stage in your child’s life where he or she will begin to assert their own identity and this may cause the unprepared parent to feel threatened in importance and authority.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It is however very important and key to understand that our child is indeed an individual and it is therefore very equally important for him or her to be able to adjust properly into adulthood. Instead of feeling threatened and acting on the offensive, it is necessary to be the magnanimous and understanding party here. This means that you will need to learn to choose your battles wisely. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I don’t like the word battle. Instead, think of it as finding win win situation for you and your teenage child. This will allow you and your child to avoid unnecessary stresses. Learning when it is important to assert yourself and when it’s ok to just let things slide can be a difficult process for a parent because naturally, you will want to control every situation to ensure the safety and happiness of your child. However, realize that you need to prepare your child for the challenges of adulthood and being a control freak will certainly not help and can be quite counter productive. Please understand that this does not mean being a permissive parent, it is still important to set boundaries and guidelines. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">You will need to understand that giving in is not a sign of weakness. In fact, being flexible and understanding is a true sign of courage and strength and in time, your teenage child will grow up into adulthood and hopefully learn and incorporate this piece of wisdom into his or her life. Also, knowing when to give in and when to set your foot down will show your child that you trust their judgment and are willing to treat them as grown ups. Putting your foot down when necessary communicates the point that they are not adults yet and will still need to depend and look to you as a guide. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">If you are having difficulty deciding when you can bend when you have to stand your ground when it comes to issues with your teenage child, you can decide to categorize concerns into to classifications: temporary and life changing. While you may think that everything your teenage child goes through now is life changing, nit picking about cleaning up a messy room or eating vegetables is something that you can give them a little leeway on.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The teenage years are the final years of childhood. We need to give them room to grow and let them make some of their own mistakes. As parents we will not always be there in person and they will need to learn to stand up for themselves and cope with their own mistakes. Parents despite being much older may have the wisdom and the answers to some of life’s problems but some things are better learned in the eyes of the teenager. When they need us we need to be there for them and show them suppor and to also be there to help coach them through difficult situations. What is most important is building the level of trust and love in your child so that no matter what goes wrong in their life they always have someone to talk to and to know that they can rebound from any situation. It is important they know that they will be ok. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-37613766654753437832008-11-16T08:32:00.000-08:002008-11-16T08:40:04.608-08:00Understanding Your Teenager's Emotional Health<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> <w:cachedcolbalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont val="Cambria Math"> <m:brkbin val="before"> <m:brkbinsub val="--"> <m:smallfrac val="off"> <m:dispdef/> <m:lmargin val="0"> <m:rmargin val="0"> <m:defjc val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent val="1440"> <m:intlim val="subSup"> <m:narylim val="undOvr"> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" defunhidewhenused="true" defsemihidden="true" defqformat="false" defpriority="99" latentstylecount="267"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Normal"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="heading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="35" qformat="true" name="caption"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="10" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" name="Default Paragraph Font"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="11" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtitle"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="22" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Strong"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="20" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="59" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Table Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Placeholder Text"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="No Spacing"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Revision"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="34" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="List Paragraph"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="29" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="30" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 159 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:595.35pt 841.95pt; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:45640129; mso-list-template-ids:-1196525734;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Symbol;} @list l1 {mso-list-id:2048093888; mso-list-template-ids:-650493062;} @list l1:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Understanding Your Teenager's Emotional Health<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><a name="top"></a><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">What should I know about my teenager's emotional health?<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The teenage years are a time of transition from childhood into adulthood. Teens often struggle with being dependent on their parents while having a strong desire to be independent. They may also feel overwhelmed by the emotional and physical changes they are going through.
<br />
<br />At the same time, teens may be facing a number of pressures-- from friends to fit in and from parents and other adults to do well in school or activities like sports or part-time jobs. The teenage years are important as your child asserts his or her individuality.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">What can I do to help my teen? <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Communicating your love for your child is the single most important thing you can do. Children decide how they feel about themselves in large part by how their parents react to them. For this reason, it's important for parents to help their children feel good about themselves. It is also important to communicate your values and to set expectations and limits, such as insisting on honesty, self-control and respect for others, while still allowing teenagers to have their own space.
<br />
<br />Parents of teens often find themselves noticing only the problems, and they may get in the habit of giving mostly negative feedback and criticism. Although teens need feedback, they respond better to positive feedback. Remember to praise appropriate behavior in order to help your teen feel a sense of accomplishment and reinforce your family's values.
<br />
<br />Establishing a loving relationship from the start will help you and your child through the teenage years.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) suggests the following ways for parents to prepare for their child's teenage years:<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Provide a safe and loving home environment.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Create an atmosphere of honesty, trust and respect.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Allow age-appropriate independence and assertiveness.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Develop a relationship that encourages your teen to talk to you when he or she is upset.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Teach responsibility for your teen's belongings and yours.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Teach basic responsibility for household chores.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Teach the importance of accepting limits.<o:p></o:p></span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">What warning signs should I look for?<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Remember that your teen may experiment with his or her values, ideas, hairstyles and clothing in order to define him- or herself. This is typically normal behavior and you shouldn't be concerned. However, inappropriate or destructive behavior can be a sign of a problem.
<br />
<br />Teens, especially those with low self-esteem or with family problems, are at risk for a number of self-destructive behaviors such as using drugs or alcohol or having unprotected sex. Depression and eating disorders are common health issues that teens face. The following may be warning signs that your child is having a problem:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Agitated or restless behavior<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Weight loss or gain<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">A drop in grades<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Trouble concentrating<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Ongoing feelings of sadness<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Not caring about people and things<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Lack of motivation<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Fatigue, loss of energy and lack of interest in activities<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Low self-esteem<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Trouble falling asleep<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Run-ins with the law<o:p></o:p></span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">What should I do if there is a problem?<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Work together to maintain open communication. If you suspect there is a problem, ask your teen about what is bothering him or her. Don't ignore a problem in the hopes that it will go away. It is easier to cope with problems when they are small. This also gives you and your teen the opportunity to learn how to work through problems together. Don't be afraid to ask for help with dealing with your teen. Many resources, including your family doctor, are available.<o:p></o:p></span></p> John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-62716136192738114572008-10-31T10:02:00.001-07:002008-10-31T10:10:02.423-07:00Is the use of parental control on your TV bad or good?<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dz72Ous0H451g36pCAqhjEpam4EDAgDhBgjXWZA3t6mXzweAMa2BO4XL80j9tp1hna9ZgN2nPYigZeySgL9PQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><div><br /></div><div><p>Parental controls on television sets came about because the Federal Communications Commission felt it was time to act to protect children from excessive violence and sexualized and other adult themes without the supervision of parents. This came at a time when children were already becoming known for "latch-key" status of being without supervision due to job demands family budgets keeping both parents working when children were home from school.<o:p></o:p></p> <p>Add this to the proactive television industry that wanted to prevent more legal requirements imposed on them. This industry felt that by taking a parent-friendly approach and voluntarily off<st1:personname st="on">erin</st1:personname>g the V-Chip and other similar control technologies, that their costs to manufacture would remain lower and their opportunities for increased sales from their cooperative attitude would ultimately earn more on its bottom line from more patronage.<o:p></o:p></p> <p>However, the advent of cable television, along with many more channels being paid for by adults, changed the situation to one where technology could interfere with the purchaser's enjoyment of any television viewing. The sad reality became one of parents being too busy to learn how to set the V-Chip or to use the technology; in some cases; their children learned to use the technology more effectively. This created the situation of the fox guarding the hen house, and children could easily skirt around such controls or find them not in use at all. The increase in sexualized and violent content in other media, such as songs on the radio, also exposed children in ways that television parental controls could not control.<o:p></o:p></p> <p>Basically, the argument has become one of too little, too late. It was a politically-sound and profitable idea to try the parental control technology not for protecting children; rather, it secured friendly votes in legislation and created profitable public relations for the television manufacturing industry. The children, sadly, remained unprotected as always.<o:p></o:p></p> <p>The technology alone is beyond the basic grasp of many adults. For example, some televisions automatically implement parental controls when they have been unplugged and turned back on. Ostensibly, this is to continue protection in the event of power outages or children trying to circumvent the control by unplugging the set. The industry and trade open secrets of resetting the television to turn off the controls, while simple to learn, are intimidating to some adults. Nevertheless, some adults are forced to learn because they cannot view programming that they are paying to view, and the intimidating nature of the technology becomes a hindrance and an annoyance too offensive to ignore. So, the controls go unused, or the television gets replaced with something that does not contain the parental control.<o:p></o:p></p> <p>All of these factors continue to prod adults into not relying on parental controls and technology to supervise children's television viewing. It is a waste of politics, of time, and no one acts ultimately in favor of the child when this system is used. Children themselves have learned to circumvent the controls or to obtain the exposure to forbidden programming from neighbors or from other media such as film and radio. Even through their interactions with peers at school, the exposure to forbidden programming continues without parental supervision.<o:p></o:p></p> <p>It would probably be better to focus efforts away from appeasing parent-voters and throwing extra money to the television manufacturers and to start sitting our children down with their own parents to discuss adult themes and issues as they arise on the screen. Thus, children get exposed to new life issues while getting their parent's reactions and perspectives on dealing with them. In this manner, children can be entertained, informed, and enjoy the pleasure of their parents' company all the more.<o:p></o:p></p></div>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-41582851183306171812008-10-31T10:02:00.000-07:002009-05-16T04:55:02.157-07:00Is the use of parental control on your TV bad or good?<object id="BLOG_video-FAILED" class="BLOG_video_class" width="320" height="266" contentid="FAILED"></object>John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-6115181891133315372008-10-13T09:16:00.000-07:002008-10-13T09:19:55.955-07:00My out of control teen<span style="font-family: arial;">Believe it or not, your child doesn't need counseling. You don’t need</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">parenting classes. You don’t need nor would you want a 250 pages </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">manual on how to be a better parent. Who has time for that? And you</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">don’t need to go through another year of pain and misery with rebellious,</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">foul-mouthed teenagers with an "attitude."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">However, what you may need is someone who has worked with troubled teens and frustrated parents for nearly 20 years and does so for a living to show you a set of very effective parenting techniques that are guaranteed to work. That would be me, Mark Hutten.</span> (<a href="http://disciplineteensandpreteens.cjb.net">http://disciplineteensandpreteens.cjb.ne</a><a href="http://disciplineteensandpreteens.cjb.net">t</a>)John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-42088544191333276282008-10-13T09:13:00.000-07:002008-10-13T09:15:00.083-07:00How to Fight Allergies Part III<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h1 {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; mso-outline-level:1; font-size:24.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p>Some think that allergies are milder in adults than in children. But this is not true. A person can develop allergies regardless of age. For example, in the case of a difficulty-in-breathing symptom, a child has smaller airways than an adult which could imply that children get more severe allergic reactions. But allergic responses do not rely on age so the best action towards it is to take an allergy seriously as soon as you recognize it.</p> <p>In addition to acknowledging the fact that an allergy can develop at any age, it would also be helpful to know that allergy shots are also not limited to an age bracket. A person can start receiving allergy shots at any age. Allergy shots are sometimes referred to as immunotherapy and it’s usually for people who suffer from year-round series of symptoms, severe seasonal symptoms, or conditions associated with allergies like asthma.</p> <p>Take action when over-the-counter drugs don’t seem to be working for you. If you have observed that your symptoms are becoming way too severe for medication, then you really should talk to your doctor about getting shots. Sometimes it’s once a week, then as symptoms become milder, allergy shots can be as rare as once a month.</p> John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2603795682156322376.post-49468868694013141942008-10-12T05:14:00.000-07:002008-10-12T05:16:09.542-07:00How to Fight Allergies Part IIOne of the most common allergies is being allergic to pollen. But you might think this allergic reaction is limited to pollen, but you could be wrong. In this example, foods with same chemical structure as that of pollen can also elicit the same allergic reaction.<br />Scientific studies have found out that intake of apples, peaches, pears, plums, carrots, almonds, or cherries can bring about an allergic reaction in a person allergic to birch trees. A ragweed allergy is also connected to eating melons, zucchini, bananas, kiwis, or cucumbers. The best way to prevent this allergy extension it to avoid foods which give the same allergic effect, especially during the pollen season.<br />Will your child have the same allergies that you have? The truth is, your child only has a 50% chance of inheriting your allergies and your husband’s. What you pass on is tendency to be allergic, and not the specifics. The best thing to do is to check with an allergist and have your child tested for allergies before s/he develops symptoms. Be vigilant of signs that could be spelling a particular allergy such as vomiting, coughing, wheezing, difficulty in breathing, constant colds, eczema, stuffy nose, and sinus infections.John Micheal Kanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313402278150479385noreply@blogger.com