Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Beautiful pictures: how you see your child

. Wednesday, June 3, 2009



Take a minute to picture your child in your mind’s eye. What do you see? Is your image that of a sweet- smelling, fresh-from-the-bath infant sleeping peacefully? Or perhaps you see your child as fussy and difficult to deal with? Attitudes about children in general, recent experiences with the child, or the success parents feel in their parenting role all contribute to the way parents perceive their little ones. The image you have of your child can influence the way you parent her.

Look through a wide-angle lens. When you look for the reasons behind your child’s behavior it is like viewing a scene through a wide-angle lens. Your child’s behavior is his way of communicating with others. When you understand why he is behaving in a certain way, you realize what your child is trying to communicate. For example, your image of a whining child changes if you suspect that he has an ear infection that causes him pain. When you look for the reason behind your child’s behavior, you may see him as needing your help rather than correction for misbehavior. Gain the benefits of viewing your child’s behavior through the wide-angle lens of understanding.

Compose the picture. Just as a photographer assembles different items and scenery to compose a beautiful photo, there are many things you need to “put together” to get a complete picture of your child. Here are some things you can do to understand your child’s behavior.

* Learn about child development.
Young children change quickly as they grow and develop. When you learn about child development, you can have realistic expectations for your child’s behavior as she enters new stages. For example, knowing that most 2-year olds find it difficult to share helps you see your child’s reluctance to share a favorite toy in a new light.

* Think about your child’s environment.
Being hungry or tired makes it harder for young children to control their behavior. Some types of entertainment or hectic schedules can be over-stimulating for your child. Looking closely at your child’s routine and surroundings may give you clues to the reason for his behavior.

* Look for patterns in your child’s behavior.
When your child does something that puzzles or upsets you, try to remember what happened just before the incident occurred and what happened as a result of the behavior. You may soon be able to recognize patterns in your child’s behavior.

* Know your child’s temperament.
Temperament is a combination of behavior characteristics that is present at birth. For instance, some people are more active than others, some adapt easily to change and for others change is difficult. Knowing your child’s unique personal style helps you understand her behavior.

Change the view. As parents, we constantly need to reassess how we see our children. When you have a positive image of your child, she is more likely to behave positively. To help your child reach her potential, you may have to change the way you see her. Together you can make beautiful pictures for a lifetime.

Old time rhymes
Nursery rhymes have been around for generations and for good reasons. Rhyming words attract babies’ attention and help them recognize sounds that are similar. The humorous content of nursery rhymes helps older children’s comprehension. And nursery rhymes are just plain fun for children and parents alike! Here are some ways to enjoy nursery rhymes with your child.

With babies: Pick one or two rhymes to croon to your baby before bedtime. She will like to hear the same rhyme over and over and will begin to associate it with being sleepy. This will help her go to sleep.

With crawlers: These little ones are on the move! Hold their hands and clap to the beat of a nursery rhyme, or grasp those little legs and guide them in a bicycling motion! Movement makes muscles strong.

With toddlers: One-year-olds are developing language rapidly. Put lots of inflection in your voice as you say nursery rhymes to children this age. Use a funny voice; draw out the words that rhyme to emphasize them.

With two-year olds: Look for picture books that illustrate classic rhymes. Read these to your child and let him look at the pictures. When he is familiar with the rhyme, pause before saying the rhyming words to let him think, and later to supply the word.

With young preschoolers: These children are nursery rhyme pros! Encourage them to learn rhymes by heart by saying part of a line and letting them finish it from memory. But don’t push your child to perform in front of company. That’s overwhelming for some children. You will know when you have a little ham that loves performing!

With older preschoolers: Leave out a word of a rhyme and let your child think of funny alternatives. For example, you say, “Bah, bah, black sheep, have you any ________? Your child supplies, “Bubble gum!” or something equally silly. Finish the rhyme with lots of laughter, and expect this game to go on for a long time!

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