Make a good plan
You are more likely to reassure your child if you are confident that you have left him in good care. Leave doctors’ and dentists’ phone numbers, medical records such as immunization and prescriptions, and a letter giving your child’s caregiver permission to make medical decisions in your absence. If possible, provide a way that you can be reached in an emergency. When you make the best plan you can, it will take a big load off your mind as you face separating from your child.
Understand your child’s age and temperament
You know your child best. Infants and very young toddlers will miss you, but will feel secure if their environment is calm and their routine remains the same. Be sure to tell your caregiver the kind of things your baby finds soothing. Older children will have a greater awareness that you are gone. Prepare your child for your absence by telling her that you are going away and explain that someone will always take care of her and who that will be. Tell your child you will think about her while you are gone and talk about the things your child will do during the separation.
Leave “lovies”
Leave some mementos behind by placing pictures of you and your child in a small photo album or zip-lock bag book. Record your voice by singing a favorite lull-a-bye or read a book to your child. For older children mark time apart in a concrete way by making a paper chain with a link for each day. Have the child tear off a link everyday so that he can see the time -- and the chain -- getting shorter. Make a book with pictures of where you are going or find the location on the map together. Leave cards or little gifts to celebrate holidays or birthdays if you will be gone during those times.
Stay in touch
Send post cards, letters, or pictures to your child. Write a letter or a story and send it by email to their care giver. Call if possible, but have your child’s care giver let you know if phone calls upset your child. Stay positive when you talk to your child and let her know you miss her, but that you are fine and she is well cared for. Focus on what she has been doing, rather than on your absence.
Six strategies for coping with extended separations Parent-child separations are a fact of life, but children need to be prepared if the separation will be long term. These strategies can make the process easier:
* Have the child mark the time apart by making an “X” on a calendar each day until the date of your return.
* Leave a recording of yourself reading a favorite bedtime story. This helps children recall your special time together.
* Remember important events that will occur during your time apart, such as a birthday, and leave a card or gift for your child to open on that day.
* Stay in touch as much as possible. Make sure your child understands that you are not “deserting” her and that you love and miss her.
* Show your child where you’ll be by finding the location together on a map or by sharing photos of where you’re going.
* Leave behind a special object that the child can keep as a memento.
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